Fun with Goats

[2:07 PM] Mattocks01: HI
[2:07 PM] Arty: Hey!
[2:08 PM] Mattocks01: Hey hun.. How are you today? Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet new people...
[2:08 PM]  Arty: Sure. I'm a little bored right now too.
[2:09 PM] Mattocks01: Cool... Well, my name is Miya Im from S.Florida.. Can I ask you a question?
[2:10 PM]  Arty: Hi Miya. My name is Mary Tudor. I'm the Queen consort of France. You can ask me anything you like!
[2:11 PM] Mattocks01: What kinda girls you in to? Are you in to BIG TITS or a BIG BOOTY?
[2:13 PM]  Arty: I like big butts and I can not lie.
[2:13 PM]  Arty: Hey! You like Sir Mix-a-lot?
[2:14 PM] Mattocks01: lol.. I have a lot of both!! Wanna see? I have some free time now...
[2:15 PM]  Arty: Nah, no thanks.
[2:15 PM]  Arty: You ever do it with a goat?
[2:16 PM] Mattocks01: Ok... let me set my web cam up and you can watch me shake my booty!! LOL.. That's if you can handle it
[2:17 PM]  Arty: I couldn't handle it. That's why I said I didn't want to see. Anyway... about that goat?
[2:18 PM] Mattocks01: Ok! Click [link] and we'll have a PRIVATE 1on1 chat.. Just accept my invite on the side then register and it'll take you straight to my webcam, I'll be there in a minute..
[2:20 PM]  Arty: You're avoiding my question you cheeky goat lover! lol, seriously was it a billy or what? You have him trip-trapping over your bridge?
[2:21 PM] Mattocks01: I use this site so I won't be recorded and only who I want to see me, gets to see.
[2:23 PM]  Arty: Why? You doing illegal things?
[2:23 PM]  Arty: Things with goats most likely! amiright?
[2:24 PM] Mattocks01: There is no charge but its gonna ask you for your credit card info just to verify your age.
[2:24 PM]  Arty: Goats don't have credit cards, my love.
[2:25 PM]  Arty: ...you know goats generally only live to about 15 years old, right?
[2:26 PM] Mattocks01: let me know when you've completed registering, I'm almost ready are you?..
[2:27 PM]  Arty: The website is broken. Can you check it here: http://goo.gl/IwP1r
[2:28 PM] Mattocks01: Ok, Im all set up for you baby... Ill be waiting for you in the site hurry! My pussy is dripping...
[2:31 PM]  Arty: I'm there... hoo boy! This is exciting! This is the right stream, yeah? http://www.ustream.tv/channel/goatslive
[2:32 PM] Mattocks01: See you SOON! ::MUAH:: 
[2:33 PM]  Arty: Lovely goat sound MUAAAAH!!! MEEEEH!!!
Mattocks01 signed off 2:33 PM

Forensic Evidence

[6:16 PM] JessieKRXT: Was starting to think no one wanted to chat with me...So watcha ya up to cutie?
[6:18 PM] Arty: I'll chat to you, so long as you don't offer some URL hidden behind an obscure shortening service. Anyway... I'm just applying Rule 34 to a bag of Twiglets and a tapemeasure. How about you, ugly?
[6:19 PM]  JessieKRXT: Im just hangin out..I have the place to myself, my roommate left for the weekend so I get to play online in my thong...LOL
[6:21 PM] Arty: That's quite exciting. Last time my roommate left me alone for the weekend I...er.. well, let's just say I left ALOT of forensic evidence all over his bed.
JessieKRXT signed off 6:21 PM

Massively Multiplayer Pants

[4:35 PM] Modena Wilber: soo you busy?
[4:38 PM]  Arty: VERY busy.
[4:39 PM] Modena Wilber: Hey sweety, how r ya...Glad you decided to look me up...
[4:40 PM]  Arty: Ewww... that green text just made me vomit. Why would you do that?
[4:41 PM] Modena Wilber: Was starting to think no one wanted to chat with me...So watcha ya up to cutie?
[4:43 PM]  Arty: I'm trying to work out why I can't lick my own elbow. Can you lick yours?
[4:44 PM] Modena Wilber: Im just hangin out..I have the place to myself, my roommate left for the weekend so I get to play online in my thong...LOL
[4:45 PM]  Arty: Wow... play online in your thong? Is that like some sort of new under-pants based MMO?
Modena Wilber signed off 4:45 PM

The Ritual

[4:32 PM] Mitchell Randa: Watcha doin??
[4:33 PM] Arty: I'm currently in middle of a pagan blood ritual.... It's a bit of a mess.
[4:34 PM] Mitchell Randa: Hey qt.. how are you today?.. Wanna chat for a little? Im bored and wanted to meet some new people...
[4:36 PM]  Arty: If you're a young female you're JUST in time... I need a sacrifice (I'm all out of goats you see).
[4:37 PM] Mitchell Randa: nice im 18 yrs old im going to school in S.Florida... Can i ask u a question?
[4:38 PM]  Arty: Sure. I'll have the tarot cards ready in just a sec...
Mitchell Randa signed off 4:39 PM

Mining for Miners

[4:20 PM] Mierzwa Malik: Are you busy??
[4:24 PM] Arty: For a bot? I've got lots of time for a bot.
[4:25 PM] Mierzwa Malik: hey 19/f have we chatted before?..
[4:26 PM]  Arty: Stupid bot. Why would I have spoken to you?
[4:26 PM]  Arty: Oh look, your bot-friend has decided to talk to me too... they seem to have the same first name... how convenient.
[4:27 PM] Mierzwa Malik: ahh okay sorry im forgetful sometimes..
[4:48 PM]  Arty: It's ok
[4:49 PM] Mierzwa Malik: so what's up?... i just got home from jogging & took a shower..
[4:50 PM]  Arty: I've just cut my left foot off... lol, all the red stuff is leaking! XD
[4:51 PM] Mierzwa Malik: do you like a girl who's naughty?..
[4:51 PM]  Arty: It depends on the crime... do you need money for bail or something?
[4:52 PM] Mierzwa Malik: well im feeling a little naughty.. im sitting here in my towel touching my nipples..
[4:58 PM]  Arty: hoo boy... I'm touching my soggy stump!
[4:59 PM] Mierzwa Malik: do you wanna see?..
[5:00 PM]  Arty: Would would love to be able to see! ...but the doctors said there's no hope of saving my eyes.
[5:01 PM] Mierzwa Malik: ok click [link] then fill out your info... DONT worry its FREEEE... give it a second to load.. once it loads click the green "accept invite" button.
[5:02 PM]  Arty: Ok... give me a sec, though... just cutting off my other foot.
[5:03 PM] Mierzwa Malik: yeah.. it's gonna ask for your credit card but its free thats just to verify you're over 18.. i cant be showing my pussy and ass to minors you know..
[5:06 PM]  Arty: lol, no you wouldn't want minors seeing. Remember those Chiliean minors that got trapped in 2010? Their minds would have been BLOWN! I guess that's only natural after been crammed in a dark tunnel with lots of burly... sweaty... gorgeous... manly men for so long.
Mierzwa Malik signed off 5:06 PM

Body Packing

[4:25 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: xoxo hi
[4:27 PM]  Arty: HI!!!! WHOW ARERE ASD YOOUUIUOUO???
[4:28 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: hey, u r francesca's friend right?
[4:28 PM]  Arty: I left francesca in Monaco. She got caught smuggling cocaine.
[4:29 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: what?? she gave me your chat name LOL, i'm sorry, anways im bored,what r u up to?
[4:30 PM]  Arty: I'm busy packing drugs into my rectum to smuggle into Poland.
[4:31 PM]  Arty: How're you?
[4:32 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: oh yea? im just doing a cam chat right now, u wanna come chat with me on there?
[4:33 PM]  Arty: Not really. I said I was busy stuffing my back-passage with copious amounts of drugs... would you really want me to turn on my webcam and see that?
[4:34 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: cool, yea its pretty fun, it can get pretty hot in there sometimes! so many wild people. lemme get the info k?
[4:35 PM]  Arty: Really, this may not be a good time... I think one of the condoms have broken. I can see lights... everywhere!
[4:36 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: Do you think i should wear my pink or black thong?
[4:38 PM]  Arty: Definitely pink. I really like guys in pink thongs... ohh... I can see little people on my desk now. I don't feel so good.
[4:39 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: kk, lemme see, okay go here [link] make sure you accept my free cam chat invite on the left hand side, it expires in 10 mins to be free, click it k?
[4:43 PM]  Arty: The website didn't work... but I'm not really sure, I think I've gone blind!
[4:44 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: yup, you gotta put in your info so the system can verify your age, got it?
[4:46 PM]  Arty: How do I do that? I've gone blind... my rectum feels a bit weird now... I think it's trying to talk to me.
[4:47 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: yea cc is just to verify your age, don't worry it won't charge you are on the free cam session, u got in before the 10 mins expired. you in?
[4:47 PM]  Arty: I don't... I... can't... I... I.... mummy?
[4:48 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: nice, k don't keep me waiting, im burning up in here!! might have to take off more clothing
[4:49 PM]  Arty: YOU'RE BURNING?... My bloody arse is burning! What do I do?
[4:50 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: k let me know when you get in so We can invite you directly to my cam sesssion.
[4:51 PM]  Arty: I think I need a doctor... can you call for an ambulance?
[4:52 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: k, you in yet babe??
[4:59 PM]  Arty: please...   call.... ambulance...
[5:00 PM] Mierzwa Mohammed: sweet k
Mierzwa Mohammed signed off 5:06 PM